August 18, 2010

Vertical Vehicles & Viciously Venomous Vibes

Last night under a clear bright summer sun I was driving the 1993 Mitsubishi Diamante that broke down on me two years ago through the streets of what Tarrytown, NY would look like if it were fused with frequent ancient roman fountains. When I made a left turn onto a cobblestone street, I noticed that the road ended suddenly and proceeded up a sharp set of stairs. For a moment I considered trying to drive up the stairs, but the gap between the plateau and the top step grew ever more imposing with each second I hesitated. I veered right, proceeding into a squarely spiral underground parking garage complex which at each floor provided breathtaking ocean vistas. Spiraling down the levels, I finally arrived at my intended floor – the ground floor of the garage, set at least 50 feet up a steep cliff side. The open design allowed the salty breeze to strike my face. I realized I was completely alone, and decided to head back topside, but I’d managed to lose my car in the moment I’d turned my back to it. However, there was a vertical conveyance nearby. Rather than an elevator cab, it provided two pads on which a person would stand as they were lifted vertically by the mechanism, which seemed to spiral upwards like a screw, passing through narrow slits at each floor. For fear of dismemberment, I decided it would be best not to ride this unusual paternoster. Once again appreciating my new found free time with an ocean view, I noticed what look like dirt on my otherwise clean shirt. Before I could remove it, I realized it was a spider, and in fact there was not one, but hundreds of spiders, crawling all over me. And at the very moment I felt a spider preparing to crawl into my mouth, open as I screamed, my BlackBerry rang, and it was my father. He asked if I wanted to go vacation near the ocean.

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